How to ruin someones day with SubSeven

27 years ago, the best remote access tool ever was invented. It was even written in the successor to Turbo Pascal. (So it breaks your face)

That’s right, fuckface! Sub7!

Sub7 Source Code Borland Delphi 4.0

What is Sub7 derp herp

Sub7 was this badass fucking tool that would allow you to control other peoples computers over the internet. It was a clone of Netbus and BackOrifice, but it was way better.

Sub7 was a client and server program. You would run the server.exe on the victims computer, and then the client could send commands to that computer.

Stories

These are some nice tales of actual Sub7 usage.

Big Mike

Mike was just a student at a computer lab, just quietly listening to his fucking music. He wasn’t hurting anyone, but at some point he decided to stop listening to music and unplugged the headphones from the monitor. It was one of those types of monitors that had fucking speakers built right into the sumbitch. Anyway, he had the volume all the way up. In another room, I just randomly connect to his computer.

Reminder: I’m in another room. I also have complete control of the CD-Rom drive.

I click to open and close the cd-rom drive. Windows starts to autoplay the CD. I can hear the music in the other room.

People start freaking out. I love chaos.

The Possessed Computer

This other girl named Val had spent every afternoon that year in the computer room playing the game Neopets, using Yahoo PageBuilder and being annoying.

Yeah, I messed with her too. I renamed icons on her desktop, flipped the screen, and made things move around on her desktop.

One day she comments and says “The computer must be Possessed”. I make the computer open a dialog box, it states “I am not Possessed”.

She fucking screams, gets the hell out of her chair and literally runs out of the computer lab.

Fucking gold. She would return later and keep up with the Neopets.

Isn’t Sub7 fucking awesome?

Cyrix Computer Hag

This lady was a piece of work who discovered the internet and IRC. She got a bunch of fancy mIRC scripts and thought she was hot shit. She ran a few IRC channels on DALnet, and was basically a Queen that had a bunch of guys groveling over her. She owned an IBM Cyrix computer, it was a very janky build and it was extremely unstable. It crashed all the time. Cyrix processors are pieces of shit.

Anyway, this IRC queen was my schoolmates mother. She kept asking me to fix her computer. I kept refusing because it wasn’t worth my time fixing it for free.

Then she offered money, and never paid. At some point my friend James also got roped into this shit. So we decided to mess with her.

Every time we would fix her computer, I’d also install the Sub7 server. One of us would distract her while the other ran the server.exe from one of our disks.

It was that simple. Then we messed with her using Sub7.

She would be chatting on IRC, we could view her screen. We showed up on IRC in those same channels. Then her computer kept rebooting every time she got back into the channel.

IRC was great back then because you could find out the persons IP address whenever they logged back in :)

The hag would log back in and start complaining about being hacked. At some point my friend thought it was a good idea to start taunting her on IRC.

We told her that we were hacking her. Our name was “Sven”, which sounded like a hacker’s name I guess. It was just a download site for mIRC. To prove our ability to hack her, we made a message window open on her screen saying that the stuff on IRC was true.

This lady went fucking apeshit so we deleted her command.com file and rebooted her computer again.

Then for the next few months we kept being invited over to fix her computer, she wouldn’t pay, and we kept doing it.

It was quite amusing that back in those days, we had to wait a good minute to see her actual screen because of the dial-up speeds.

Conclusion

Remote Access tools can be a lot of fucking fun. However, this is not an endorsement of that kind of activity. Times change and this sort of thing is now against the law. It wasn’t when I was a kid, which is a shame but at the same time it isn’t the nerds hacking people anymore. It is career criminals. Stay safe.

Even Mobman decided to stop developing the tool once it was being used for more nefarious things.